The differences between here and there...

There are many differences from life here and life in Australia.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend/colleague yesterday which shed some light one on particular difference.

I find it interesting that as people age in this country many are drawn to their grandchildren and children and often move or live closer, if not in the same home with them. Many care for their grandchildren while their children work in order to earn money an set up their lives and this is considered quite the norm. This is also a very similar practice in Greece where I know the same is done.

In Australia however, I feel the attitude on this issue is different. My view is that parents see their work as "done" once they have raised their kids and they have left the house and when their own children are having children for themselves and parents feel it is a time when they want to enjoy their retirement years by moving warmer climates, travelling, taking a cruise or involving themselves in more social events with friends their own age. Independence is another word that comes to my mind whereby the older they get, the more independent they wish to be, or continue to maintain their independence in their older years. Rarely do parents move into their children's homes; they more commonly move to retirement homes or supported accommodation where they remain independent but have the help nearby if needed.

I remember when my grandmother told my father that she was ready to move from her home where she had lived for more than 50 years. My father offered for her to come and live at our house where we could build an extension to accommodate her in her own independent setting. She was against it. My father looked at houses/villas closer to our home so we could be geographically closer to her. She didn't want that either. So in the end she found a lovely retirement village where she had her own home and small garden, but there were strategies in place if she became ill or required urgent help. All at the ripe age of 88.

My grandmother, bless her, was a fiercely independent woman who had raised two teenage boys on her own after her husband died at age 40. She lived for the next 52 years as single woman who did everything for herself. She delivered meals through the "Meals on Wheels" program to other elderly people by car each week for many, many years. Independence was so very important to her.

In Turkey, it is considered somewhat shameful to have your parents live in a nursing/retirement home. My friend explained to me that for many Turkish parents they almost expect that their children should and will take care of them in their older years just as they did when their children were young.

Culturally in Turkey, families operate as a unit which more than often includes parents and grandparents and kids and grand kids as one. In Australia, it's quite the opposite as parents make decisions separate from their children and grandchildren and live more independently of them and vice versa.

My friend told me a story of an elderly Turkish woman who lived in Kadıköy on her own. She would call on the local bakkal for help with buying the basics like milk and bread and would call on other to buy fish for her from time to time. She was independent, but alone. She had no family around her and one day after no one seeing her for some time, the neighbours broke into her house and found her dead. She had been dead at least a week, rodents had come and it was not a pretty situation.

People were outraged that this woman died alone and no one knew. They couldn't understand where her family was and how she could have died alone in that way. Unfortunately, this happens in Australia and other western countries. I have read many stories in the news of elderly people passing away in their homes and not been discovered until neighbours smell something odd.

Turkish home life involves neighbours and friends and family. Everyone is very intertwined. Everyone knows whats going on with each others children and husbands, who is having the next baby, who is getting married and what you cooked for dinner last night. Turks are social and communal and share everything.

Things are not so well known about your neighbours and those around you in Australia, unless like my family, they have lived next to their neighbours for some 25 years. People tend to be more private with matters. Questions that involve how much you earn, how much rent you pay and when are you having your first child are hardly ever asked, even if by close friends and family. In Turkey though, as I have learnt, such questions are par for the course.

I read a great article in Today's Zaman yesterday on entitled Surprising for foreigners? Normal for Turks.... This article covers some of the differences that we foreigners notice on a daily basis and learn to adapt to over time. Have a read of the article. It's interesting.

The other homeland, Nauru

My mother was born on worlds smallest island nation, the Republic of Nauru. Her mother was Nauruan and her father Chinese. Nauru lies 42km south of the Equator and has a continual tropical climate in the 30's with almost 100% humidity. The island is covered in palms trees and the local people speak Nauruan and or English. Nauru is populated with Micronesian and Polynesian people.

Nauru was designated a colony by Germany in the 19th century and following World War I it became a mandate territory administered by Australia, New Zealand and the United Kingdom. The island was occupied by Japan in World War II and in 1968 the island gained independence.

Nauru is unlike any place I know. It is an island which covers a tiny 21 kms sq. According to Wiki it is the smallest independent republic, and the only republican state in the world without an official capital. It is unique place with a population of around 10,000 and there are many weird and strange facts which I have learnt about the place. Some of them are:

• Nauruans are among the most obese people in the world with 90% of adults being overweight.




• Nauru has the highest level of type 2 diabetes in the world, with more than 40% of the population suffering from the disease.

• Nauruans love Aussie rules football and play it on dirt not grass.




• Weightlifting is a popular sport. Marcus Stephen (the current serving President) won seven gold and five silver medals in the sport at various Commonwealth Games.




• The official currency of Nauru is the Australian $.




• There is only one sealed road that circumnavigates the island.




• Nearest neighbouring island is some 300km east of Nauru.




• The island is surrounded by a coral reef which makes surfing almost impossible!

Nauru is basically built upon phosphate, in other words, bird poop. Nauru celebrated its richness for many, many years through its export in phosphate after masses were discovered in the 1900's. It was also described as 'paradise' by many. Not only was it rich financially, but its culture was rich and unique for the tiny island nation. In the early years, locals would eat from the land and fish the sea with large supplies of banana, pandanus, coconut and fresh fish. Life was easy as the profits of phosphate exports filled the pockets of its people. For example, in 1989 Nauru had the highest GDP per capita in the world.

I remember visiting as a child and loving the close ties our family had; being spoilt rotten by aunties and uncles; going fishing and eating fresh raw fish off the back of the boat with my Uncle Jack and playing with my cousins in the backyard which was the beach; with the sand and the water only footsteps from the door. I would watch as my male cousins would smash fresh coconuts over the back of a chair and we would drink the juice and then eat the white flesh within. There was always someone around to play with and I remember riding the back of my cousin Jonny's motor bike without a care in the world. Those were the days.

Over the years however, the country and its people have suffered. Today there remains little, if any exportable phosphate and the country teeters on the brink of financial ruin. Economic mismanagement forced the Nauruan Government to sell off their foreign property portfolio and they were forced to vacate Nauru House in Collins Street, Melbourne. Further problems came after failing to pay rent on their national air craft, Air Nauru, which was rented from Qantas. The airline was often grounded and people would be left stranded not able to travel back and forth. People often required urgent medical treatment in Australia due to diabetes or other related illnesses and it was always difficult to know when the plane would be returning.

Many people remember Nauru after it was swept into the spotlight back in 2001 when 439 Afghani refugees were rescued from a dodgy fishing vessel in international waters by the Norwegian Cargo Ship, MV Tampa. The fishing vessel was trying to make its way to Christmas Island at the time when it ran into trouble. At the time, a major dispute arose as the Australian government sought to prevent the ship from entering Australian waters, however the ship carried millions of dollars in cargo due to be delivered to Australia. Instead, after much debate, the Afghani's ended up being the product of the so-called "Pacific Solution" that was implemented by the Howard Government whereby the asylum seekers would remain on Nauru while their applications for asylum status was processed in Australia. Unfortunately for many, this took many years.

Although Nauru is facing tough times and has often been reported in the media in a negative way, the fond memories I have of the place will never change. I hope that in the future I can visit there with my mum and sister and see relatives and cousins and the new ones we have never met.

I was humbled today to find this site CARE4NAURU. I was amazed to find that Carey Baptist Grammar School in Melbourne have been sending teachers and students to Nauru since 2002 to help the local people during their June school holidays. The students pay their own way and spend their holidays teaching instruments and restoring churches on the island. I was so very touched. I had no idea they did this. Funnily, Carey is the sister school of my high school, Strathcona.

As a sign of our appreciation for their efforts, my sister and I both made donations to CARE4NAURU and I hope they can continue their amazing work on Nauru in the years to come.

Dreaming

I am desperately dreaming of a holiday. Everyone in the office is beginning to take off to places like Bodrum, Antalya, Fethiye and Kaş. In the last two weeks, I have arranged two separate weekend trips to Bodrum for my boss. He is going again today. I'm jealous.


My time will come, I know. I am planning a week off in mid-August. We are not sure where we are heading yet, and to be honest, I don't care as I am desperate to be able to sleep in, relax and have afternoon siestas.


My title page picture is of the kind of house I am dreaming about owing one day, or even renting for a summer one year when my sister and kids come to visit. Actually, this is a picture of a house that is for sale in Bodrum. Only 175,000 YTL, not bad I think. Well, that is compared to prices for holiday homes in Victoria; Sorrento, Portsea etc.


I'll keep dreaming....

Wedding memories

My gorgeous sister has posted some great videos she captured from my Turkish wedding back in April this year.

I would love to share those with you, so feel free to check them out at her blog G.R.Y.B at Home.

There are some great scenes of the dancing bride and groom as well as the drive to the wedding which had my heart racing! Brings back loads of happy memories and lots of laughs.

Enjoy!

Happiness and football

I'm no football fanatic but it really was great news to hear that Galatasaray has signed Australian Harry Kewell this week to play with the club for the next three years. Hopefully this season I can get to a game to see him play as he is my all time favourite Australian player (and may I say very cute too).

July 4

I was invited to my first July 4 party last night. It was held in Ulus, over looking Ulus park. The views from the top floor apartment were the most spectacular I have seen yet of Istanbul. It was a great party with all the 'American' trimmings; cup cakes that made up the US flag, a BBQ, hamburgers and beer, plus lots of other Turkish touches.

The party was held by a friend of a friend who I had actually met at another function a while ago with other Ameican ex-pats. It was a great night all round.

Turkish Banking

Today I was pushed over the edge.

Two weeks ago my work set up another Turkish Lira account for tax and social security ('SSK')payment purposes. Fine with me. But when I checked the accounts, the smaller amount for the SSK was deposited into my current account the the larger balance of my salary was deposited into the new account. Sounds like nothing. But when I went to the ATM the new account has not been linked to the ATM or anything so I can't access it.

I remembered that the old account has next to nothing in it so I need funds from the other account and in order to do that I need to link the two accounts so I can see them at the hole in the wall. Going to the bank here at lunch time is a painful process that I cannot take part in.

So, I thought to go online and transfer the balance from the old account into the new account; but I wasn't sure if it would move over in a day. So, I type in my account details and hit 'go' but nothing happens. I repeat this process over and over; shut down the internet browsers and then try again but still nothing.

I pick up the phone and dial the bank and select '9' for English. There I wait. And I wait. Listening to the voice saying "all our representatives are busy now, please stay on the line". Yeah right. Busy eating breakfast and sipping tea.

A few minutes later I am connected. I explain my problem and the woman on the end of the phone asks for my account ID. I provide it, to which she replies "there is no customer number like this". To which I offer "I'll give you my card number then". I read out the number and the she asks for my full name. I give it. Then she asks for my date of birth. I give it. Then she asks for my fathers name. I give it. Then she asks for my mothers maiden name. I give it. Then she asks for my passport number. I give it. Thinking surely this was more than enough info to verify that I am in fact me, she goes on to ask my home address in Turkey. I tell her the address and I stop after saying the area name. Then she asks "Mrs. M, what district please". WTF.

Surely, by now I have given more than enough personal identification information for security purposes to not warrant anymore questions. This was bordering upon ridiculous, stupid and insulting. Then she asks me "do you have a mobile number". I think to myself, well, daaahh, you can see it on your frickin' screen in front of you can't you???? So I repeat the number to her and she says she will now call my mobile phone. "Hmm, what? Excuse me? For what", I say? "For security procedure Mrs. M". I laughed and said to her "Goodness, don't you think you have enough information already"?

So my mobes rings and I pick up. She asks me "Mrs M who are you speaking on the other telephone? "Finansbank", I say. "About what matter are you talking Mrs. M", she says.."INTERNET BANKINGGGG" I say.

So she hangs up from my mobile and then we talk on the other line. She sorts out the problem with the internet customer number and I set up a PIN number again. (However, still now the internet account access doesn't work!) She then asks me if she can help me with something else, to which I request help from her to link the two accounts I have. "Certainly Mrs. M, I can assist you". With that, the line goes dead and the screen on my phone shows me that the call ended.

To say the least. My blood was boiling and my temperature was rising with frustration and aggravation. How the frick can the call just be cut off?

I picked up the phone and dialled the same number. Was told the same message "all our representatives are busy now, please stay on the line"......and waited.

A man answered the phone this time around. I told him that I had been speaking to someone and had been disconnected. I explained that I wanted to link my two accounts and he said "Certainly, I can help you". I gave him my card number and he was checking my account. Then. The line went dead. Cut off. Finished. Hung up. WTF? AGAIN?

Maybe on my account the previous customer service idiot put up a 'bitch flag' so the next customer service person could hang up on me also.

So I slammed the phone down and screeched something like "these people are so damn incompetent" and fled to the bathroom in tears. I think my boss heard me. But I don't care.

I just can't handle this incompetent and difficult service I seem to get with them. This is not the first time the line has been 'disconnected' when I have been needing help. I hate to go to the bank as no one speaks English, although their website claims they are so expat friendly and have English speaking customer service agents blah, blah, blah....

What is it about this place that some things just become so damn hard to do that you almost don't want to participate in it. I would be more than happy to take all my cash from the bank and keep it at home and never have to deal with a bank, ever.

Türkçe?

I finally started Turkish classes two weekends ago. The course runs for 12 weeks, on weekends only, on both Saturday and Sunday from 1pm to 4pm. It was never going to be easy; after working a full week usually 10-11 hours per day and then finding some brain capacity to take in a whole new language is a big task. But I have no excuse. I have been here one year and really can't string a proper sentence together.

I am one of 7 in the class and funnily enough, there is no other Australian there; French, Korean, Columbian, Pakistani, American, Dutch. Two people dropped off after the first week and the Columbian joined us last week. Everyone is nice and all learning the language for different reasons.

The views from the area, Gumüşsuyu; not far from Taksim, are so lovely. The area sits high up and from the streets you can see the Bosphorous. It's also situated close to the Beşiktaş Football stadium so there is always a stream of fans from some team or other strolling the streets on Saturdays cheering and distracting us. There is a nice little Turkish style bakery right next door where I grab tea and poğaca from before class.

So, lets see how these next 10 weeks pan out. I think it will get harder as the weather gets nicer....ho hum...

Package in the mail!

I love getting packages in the mail. Today I received my special thank you cards I purchased on Etsy. They are so beautiful and I'm so happy with the pesonalised ones. I bought them from a lovely seller, storybymia. Mia is from New York City and everything is made and designed by her in her studio.

Now you all know how I will occupy myself this long weekend! It's way overdue though, so I'm looking forward to getting them out.

Garlic anyone?

That's right. This truck was making it's way from Anatolia to Europe laden with garlic. It's hard to see, but it really was full to the brim with garlic. We were on the Asian side today and I spotted this truck going by. What a sight!