Family and vacations, or family vacations?

It's that time of year again on this side of the globe.

The weather is warm, business is slowing down and Istanbul seems to contain less people and traffic than normal.

Throughout June, July and August people take off out of the city for their summer homes or on vacation to the more sandier parts of Turkey, like Bodrum, Antalya and Fethiye.

It's our turn to take off next week. We were planning a road trip to the Black Sea. There has been some wild weather there over the last week which could prevent us from visiting some places, or if the weather continues, prevent us all together going. We will see how the weather pans out towards the end of the week. But it's looking ok for now.

The decision to go on holiday seems to bring up some interesting issues, well, for us anyway. My vacation allowance from work is fairly limited, in contrast to what you get in Australian standards. I generally find I have to use days from the following years entitlement in order to just go home to Australia once per year and to have a short break in between.

Recently, my husband went away for a couple of weeks. Since returning, his parents, especially his father, has indicated that he would like to see us and has on several occasions asked my husband when we are coming to see them. My husband is busy at work and along with this trip we will take next week; his sister will visit in early August; my father will visit shortly thereafter; and some other friends of mine will come to town in mid August, so finding time to make the five hour drive to Ankara or eight hours to Konya is a lot to ask, in my opinion anyway.

My husband told his father that I would not be able to join him for a visit he may make to see them in early August. He told him it's because I cannot afford to take one or two days of holiday to go and see them for a long weekend. I asked my husband if he had told them that we would be going away next week to the Black Sea. My husband proceeded to tell me that he hadn't told them and that he wouldn't, as he told them I couldn't even take one day holiday to go and see them. He said that he would go and visit them and probably go from a Thursday to Sunday when we return from our holiday.

I didn't really probe him about this but as I began to think about what he said, I realised or concluded rather, that his family would be upset or offended if we took a vacation, on our own, without paying them a visit or instead of visiting them.

Sometimes I get upset with the fact that they never visit us. My husband works long hours, five, sometimes, six days a week. The business is relatively new and therefore requires endless visits to customers, long phone calls sometimes at 10 and 11 at night, and patience in dealing with his Chinese distributors. He drives long distances all week and endures all the stresses that come with running your own business. A holiday for us is to go somewhere and not have to do much; to relax and unwind. But when we go to visit his family, invariably, other family members come over (which in always more than 3 or 4 people) and neighbours pop by, and if we go to Konya, he should visit his grandparents, aunts, uncles and neighbours. If he doesn't see someone during that visit or spend a decent amount of time with his family, people will be upset or offended, so he has to ensure he sees everyone. How is this a holiday or a chance for him to relax and unwind?

Before I go any further, I will say that maybe this is a cultural thing whereby families like or expect that they will be visited by their children when they have free time, which I fully understand. I will also say that I am not at all against seeing my in-laws. We get along very well and I love them very much as they love me like their own daughter. What I find difficult is the fact that I now feel guilty about taking a much needed break with my husband which we have not yet done (alone, without visiting each others families) since I moved here. Most, if not all trips that we have had since I moved here have been to visit his family in Ankara or Konya, and my family in Australia, both of which we have done together and separately. The only time we have had together on holiday has been two days in Singapore in January.

As much as I am looking forward to this time, a part of me now feels guilty for not factoring in my husbands family into our limited holiday time, but on the other hand, should I? I mean, should I feel guilty and should I factor them into our plans so they can get happy? What about our happiness?

It's so hard to please everyone. But what about us and what we want to do? Is there ever a balance that can be perceived by both parties in these situations?

Grumpy

I had a shocking sleep last night for which I am paying the price for today.

It was hot, then became cool and a massive downpour hit at around 4am so I woke up. I thought our block of flats might float away, it was that heavy. Husband had only just gone to bed and got up again and ate a tomato and surfed the internet. I got up too and sat on the couch and watched some BBC News for a while.

I knew I would feel horrible when the alarm would go off at 7.30, but I just couldn't get to sleep and the more I couldn't sleep, the more stressed I was getting about the situation. The vicious circle continued.

So here I am almost 12 hours later, tired and grumpy with heavy eyes and in need of a serious caffeine hit.

Help.

Update: No longer lost in translation

After posting about my oregano and thyme translation drama yesterday, I sought out the help of the Expat world in Turkey and posted on one of the expat pages.

I was informed that in fact that correct translation for oregano is "güveyotu".

Oregano is not very common in Turkey and Wikipedia even reports that thyme is most commonly used in Turkish cuisine.

If you are in search of it, I believe you can find it possibly at Mısır Çarşı, the Egyptian Spice Market, in Eminönü.

Lost in translation

On a recent trip to the Şişli Organik Pazarı, my friend and I discovered the translation confusion or lack of translation for two common herbs; Oregano and Thyme.

In the dictionary both translate to "kekik" in Turkish, but, as us native speakers and foodie people know, they are two very different herbs.

According to Wikipedia, thyme is a basic ingredient in Turkish food, but it doesn't say the same for oregano, which is common in Greek, Spanish and Italian cooking.

I was told by someone that oregano is not common in Turkey and very hard to find, so kekik is in fact the word for thyme.

So what about when I see the name in English on a pack of kekik as "oregano"? Does this mean that it's thyme?

Does anyone have the answer to this culinary question?

A night outdoors

summer time
night air
cool breeze
easy tunes

good food
good wine
good friend
happy times

Bej Restaurant

İstinye Bayırı Caddesi - İstinye Park

(0 212) 345 63 87

The map to nowhere

On Saturday I set out to find the Şişli Organik Pazarı in an area of Istanbul I hadn't visited before. I went along with my heavily pregnant friend Jade.

I thought from a map a friend had drawn that it would be fairly straightforward to find. Jade also had a map from the internet which seemed to point us in the same direction. So, with maps in hand, we envisaged we would be there in about 15 minutes. So off we went.

But soon after we set off we realised that we were on the road to nowhere with our maps as the otopark where the pazar was supposed to be held was nowhere to be found. After asking many shopkeepers and calling my friend who supplied me with my map, we managed to find the pazar, after much pavement pounding, albeit a little bit hot and bothered.

It was strangely located in an underground car park, which, although odd, offered up protection from the afternoon sun and provided a cool space in which to browse in.

What we realised however, was the downside to organic in Turkey = very expensive. Organic is still yet to really break through here and not everyone can appreciate the clean natural food and of course, the price that comes with it.

Nonetheless, we sat and enjoyed a fresh organic juice (TL 5) and a fresh gözleme which resembles a savoury pancake with spinach and cheese. It's then cooked over a concave heated dome and served piping hot. For only TL 4, it was the best bargain of the day. With that followed a fresh piece of homemade lemon cake (3 TL).

The pazar is worth a look. Although expensive you can find a variety of items from dried fruits, legumes, lentils and fresh produce to organic household cleaning products and organic cotton clothes, all with orgnic certification. The atmosphere is relaxed and easy and the food on offer to purchase is fresh and tasty. There is also a small Organik Büfe next to the pazar where you can also have tea from.

Şişli Organik Pazarı

Feriköy Semt Pazarı, Bomonti Caddesi, Lala Şahin Sokak

(Eski Tekel Bira Fabrikası alt sokağı) Feriköy - Şişli

Tel: (0 212) 252 52 55

www.bugday.org

Every Saturday from 08:00 - 17:00

Packages in the mail!

I love getting mail.

Yesterday I received a package from my mum with the most recent copy of The Australian Women's Weekly, a hand written letter and photo of mum and a couple of friends. I also received a beautiful handmade card from my sister.

Immediately my mood lifted and I felt a rush of excitement and happiness. It's amazing what the small things can do.

The postage cost more than double that of the magazine, but I'm sure she knows how much I appreciate it!

I sat up in bed last night and read the magazine cover to cover twice, including all the adverts. It was great and I felt back in the loop with the Australian tabloid gossip and goings on.

Today I also received my first copy of Glamour in replacement of my subscription to Domino which went out of business earlier this year. Foreign magazines cost so much here, sometimes four or fives times that of the marked price so I decided to invest in a couple of subscriptions. I also signed up for Jamie Oliver's cooking magazine which I should receive next month.

I'm hoping that may encourage more cooking and more time in the kitchen for me. We'll see.

Short Breaks - Part Two - London

I didn't realise how much I missed London until I was there. I forgot how fast paced it was especially when riding the tube and pacing the tunnels of the underground system from one tube line to another. I forgot how multicultural it was and how many different people from all around the world live there. It's such a melting pot. It is a place of comings and goings; where people are either transitting through or find themselves staying for an indefinite period of time. It's a place you can very easily get stuck to.

London is so green. Although a metropolis of people and buildings, there is a lot of green which was a beautiful sight as we flew in over Greater London.

You can get attached to London for many different reasons. I got attached because of its location, the sense of adventure it provided me and the fact I could go anywhere in Europe with such ease, and also because of its similarity to Australia. Being in London this time round not only reminded me of my life and the experiences I had there, but also bought back memories of my various trips to places like Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, and Italy and all the trips to Turkey I took to come and visit my sweetheart. Although I loved to leave to go on those trips, I always returned to London at the end of the trip feeling like I was coming home.

Being in London again filled me with excitement and bought back good memories. It was so refreshing to catch up with familiar faces - long time friends, and chat over endless coffees about our respective lives and what they were all up to in London; two of them are there for the short term before heading back to NY and then onto Hong Kong; two others have been there for the past five years, but will leave for Australia in the coming months; and one other is deciding whether to stay or go. All of them in transition and all of them contemplating their next move and destination.

I was fortunate to stay with friends in the most lovely little part of London, Notting Hill, off Kensington Park Road which was close to great shops, cafes and restaurants. With my New Yorker friends we had a great meal at the upstairs restaurant Bumpkin on Westbourne Park Road which styles itself as a country brasserie with traditional meals such as pies and fish and chips but also turns out sumptuous dishes of free range chicken, lamb, organic salmon and 28 day Yorkshire rib eye. We all ordered three courses and sides and got to taste each other dishes which were all very delicious. It was a nice change from the ever overcooked meat that is so commonly served in Turkey and a nice change to not have vegetables swimming in olive oil. But what was most delish, was the Banoffee pie, which I shamefully admit to never tasting before until now. If you have never experienced Banoffee pie, you must. It was the most moreish combination of caramel, cream, banana and crushed biscuits layered inside a tumbler glass. The most perfect combination of flavours with the crunch of the biscuit. I was truly in dessert heaven. Really. I was.

We also fulfilled my Thai cravings and had dinner at Market Thai restaurant in Notting Hill on Portobello Road, which is situated atop a pub and is family run and owned. The atmosphere is relaxed and quite laid back. It is reported to be one of the best cheap eats in town, but the food remained authentic with a good amount of spice and heat. I had really missed authentic Thai food, so it was a real treat to eat duck, green chicken curry, pad Thai, spring rolls and prawn toast and lots of peanut sauce.

I miss being able to easily find meals of pasta, Thai, Chinese, Lebanese or Greek, but simply I miss the huge variety of food that London has to offer. You can find a market or organic shop easily and buy fresh produce that differs so much and offers many speciality fruits and vegetables along with great cuts of organic meat, chicken and even more speciality meats like emu, roo or wagu. You can find whatever kind of restaurant food you want usually within walking distance of your home and if not, you can find the ingredients in the supermarket to cook it yourself.

I walked the streets of Notting Hill and cruised down Brompton Road from Knightsbridge to Gloucester Road and rode the tube to Oxford Street, Regent Street and High Street Kensington. I was coiffed and pampered in Kilburn and I ate on-the-go with a sandwich from Eat in one hand and a latte in the other. I didn't want to miss anything or waste any time so I ate on the go most days. I walked Portobello Road and devoured fresh pastries with butter and homemade jam. I stocked up on the essentials at Boots and stopped in at H&M for some sale shopping. I scanned the food isles of M&S for their tasty salads and gourmet sandwiches. It was a nice change to feel the fresh cool air on my face as I walked and not have to inhale a cloud of smoke from cars and trucks racing by as they honk their horns endlessly. It was peaceful and relaxing to walk the streets and and not be terrorised and barked at by street dogs. I felt recharged, refreshed and alive.

It was great to feel London again. To live it, if only for a few days. I love falling in line with the pace of a city and also being able to walk everywhere or use multiple modes of transport to get to your final destination. I can understand how some of my friends have found themselves there after so many years and wondering why they haven't left already. When you are there you find yourself perplexed by the cost of things, the weather and crowded transport, only to miss it like crazy once you've gone.

I don't know really what it is about London, it just seems to pull you in and doesn't let you go.

Kendin pişir, kendin ye!

On Saturday afternoon we took a ride to the Asian side to a place near to Şile which is around 70kms from Istanbul. Many Istanbul residents have houses in Şile where they go during the summer. The name of the place in Turkish is "kendin pişir, kendin ye", but the literal translation is exactly "cook yourself, eat yourself", which had us all laughing.

The place we went to was set up for people to go and have a bbq but the unique thing about this place is that it provides everything from the bbq itself, meat, salad and drinks. It's kind of a strange concept to an Australian who would usually go to a bbq in their own backyard or a friends, however, for most Turks who may only have a balcony or small garden, it's a great way to barbeque in the great outdoors without smoking out your neighbours.

It was beautiful to sit outside with my toes in the grass with trees all around with the smell of grilling meat, tomatoes and peppers filling the air. We were served fresh yoghurt and salad and after the meal we had our own çay samovar set up next to our table where we had endless tea on tap. It was a really nice change from going to a restaurant and enjoying the great outdoors!

Short Breaks - Part One - Bolu & Abant

Snow capped mountains, Abant

Back at the start of May we took a shot trip to Ankara to visit my husband's family. On the way we stopped at Bolu and Abant, which are both such beautiful places. Bolu is a place we frequent on our trips to Ankara where we enjoy the lamb chop that the area is well known for as well as the fresh yoghurt and butter and honey. So, so tasty. We always make sure to stop on the way up to Bolu to buy a fresh loaf of hot Safranbolu bread, straight out of the oven. The trip came at a time when the weather had started to improve and the sun was shining, families were out walking around the lake in Abant and it was so nice to take in the sweet smelling fresh air along with the peace and quiet.

Abant Lake